Some Characteristics of a Mentor/ Coach

What will resonate with you about  nurturing relationships ( including coach /mentor)  in your own life will not necessarily be the same as what resonated with me. However, below is a summary of my key learnings about nurturing relationships that continue to clarify and enrichen my transition from confusion to self- discovery.

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Key Learnings

Lightness of being:They don’t take themselves too seriously. Instead they emit positive energy, a good sense of humour, the ability to have a good laugh and are always kind and thoughtful in their interactions.

 Unconditional positive regard:The acceptance and support of another human being regardless of what that person says or does can help to facilitate a safe environment where we can reflect, go inwards and feel comfortable to explore our inner thoughts and feelings That safe space also encourages us to experiment in confidence which in turn can create an upward spiral of energy, awareness and consciousness. This type of relationship is often characterised by the person’s care and willingness to share their time, attention and energy.

Congruence: There is an alignment between what they say and what they do. There is also a willingness to be vulnerable which, in turn, encourages us to follow them into that sacred space so that both parties may benefit from the intimacy and potency that vulnerability creates in a nurturing relationship. This other person will also never take the focus off our growth and development to feed their own egos.

Life experience:They understand the struggle and pain that often accompanies crisis, confusion, personal learning and change; have a voracious appetite to increase their own knowledge and continue their own journey of self-discovery.

Partner, agitator and facilitator:They are willing to boldly confront us on our ‘stuff’ and ask questions that penetrate closely held unhelpful behaviours, practices and attitudes. They will seek the path to truth in all conversations; empower, encourage and challenge us to find our own answers. This often requires a willingness to stand back, watch and listen.

Excerpt from ‘Confusion is a Gift’ by Chelvendra

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