Heroism is rather a mind-set or an accumulation of our personal and social habits. It is a way of being. And it is a special way of viewing ourselves. To be a hero requires taking effective action at crucial junctures in our lives, to make an active attempt to address injustice or create positive change in the world. To be a hero requires great moral courage. And each of us has an inner hero waiting to be expressed. We are all “heroes in training.” Our hero training is life, the daily circumstances that invite us to practice the habits of heroism: to commit daily deeds of kindness; to radiate compassion, starting with self-compassion; to bring out the best in others and ourselves; to sustain love, even in our most challenging relationships; to celebrate and exercise the power of our mental freedom.
“Isn’t it amazing?” she said. “The worst brings out the best in us.”
Imagine that as a child you were issued a large backpack to wear at all times. At first you didn’t know what it was for, but then the adults around you started putting rocks in it that you then obediently carried around. After a while you followed their example and began to put rocks in there yourself. Over time, some of the rocks disappeared, but most didn’t, and by now that pack’s really, really heavy.
You often pull out some of the rocks and look at them. They don’t make you happy. In fact they make you miserable. Some at the bottom you never pull out—you might not even remember you have them–but still you carry them. This seems inexplicable. Why would anyone voluntarily bear such a burden?
Unfortunately these rocks are not chunks of shale or granite or sandstone. Those would be easy to get rid of! Instead they are bits of residual resentment, hatred, anger, guilt, and shame from injuries or injustices or mistakes you can’t or won’t or haven’t tried to let go of. The backpack is your mind; the weight of the load burdens not your back but your soul.
What follows are tips for cleaning out that backpack. If the pack’s stuffed full, it’ll take some mental elbow grease to do a good spring cleaning, but trust me, it’s worth it for the sunlight that will pour into your life. After that, there’ll be some ongoing maintenance to keep your pack light and your steps jaunty. Yes, there’ll be surprises. Rocks that you’ll swear you never picked up will somehow get in that backpack, and a few rocks will keep reappearing even after you put them down and down again. Still the effort’s worth it.
So how to get rid of these rocks? The first step is to realize that anger, hatred, resentment, guilt, and shame are not just weight, they’re toxic, poisonous to a healthy life. They cloud your judgement; they sap your attention and energy. They lead to bitterness, depression and despair. If you feed these toxic emotions, the rocks will grow until they’re all you have left. At its most basic, carrying around these rocks is a form of self-harm.
Instead when these emotions arise, acknowledge them, learn from them. Take action if appropriate. And then let them go. This doesn’t mean you should allow people who’ve injured you to do so again. But caution, wisdom, and courage prevent injury better than anger and resentment.
This is too good not to share. I asked a friend who has crossed 70 & is heading towards 80 what sort of changes he is feeling in himself? He sent me the following:
1. After loving my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children and my friends, I have now started loving myself.
2. I have realized that I am not “Atlas”. The world does not rest on my shoulders.
3. I have stopped bargaining with vegetable & fruit vendors. A few pennies more is not going to break me, but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.
4. I leave my waitress a big tip. The extra money might bring a smile to her face. She is toiling much harder for a living than I am.
5. I stopped telling the elderly that they’ve already told that story many times. The story makes them walk down memory lane & relive their past.
6. I have learned not to correct people even when I know they are wrong. The onus of making everyone perfect is not on me. Peace is more precious than perfection.
Imagine a world where reading isn’t just passing words on a page, but a thrilling puzzle to be cracked, a conversation to be engaged in, and a treasure trove of knowledge to be unearthed.
This is the world promised by Mortimer J. Adler’s seminal work, “How to Read a Book”.
Here are 10 guiding principles of reading from “How to Read a Book” by Mortimer J. Adler:
Principle One: Active Reading
Imagine reading like a detective, not a spectator. Don’t simply let the words flow past you. Actively engage the text:
What is the author’s main point?
What evidence do they use to support their claims?
Are there any logical fallacies or inconsistencies?
Can I connect this to other things I know?
Take notes on key points, arguments, and questions. Highlight significant passages for later reference.
Principle Two: Purposeful Reading
What drives you to pick up a book? Identify your reason:
Enjoyment: Get lost in a story, laugh, or escape reality.
Information: Learn new facts, gain knowledge on a specific topic.
Understanding: Develop a deeper comprehension of complex ideas or philosophies.
Knowing your purpose guides your reading pace, level of analysis, and whether you annotate or simply absorb the story.
Principle Three: Diversity in Reading
Don’t get stuck in a reading rut! Explore different genres, authors, and topics. Reading a variety of books:
-Expands your knowledge base.
-Challenges your existing perspectives.
-Develops different reading skills for different types of texts.
-Think of it like exercising different muscles to become a well-rounded reader.
Principle Four: Syntopic Reading
Don’t read books in isolation. Look for other books on the same subject and compare and contrast them. This allows you to:
-See different perspectives and interpretations of the topic.
-Identify common themes and arguments across different sources.
-Form a more nuanced and informed understanding of the subject.
-It’s like having a conversation with several experts on the same topic.
Principle Five: Annotation as Memory Enhancement
Treat your books like active learning tools. Underline key passages, write notes in the margins, and even create diagrams to visualize complex ideas. This:
-Reinforces your understanding during and after reading.
-Provides a quick reference point for revisiting key points.
-Creates a personalized study guide for future review.
ONE TUSK 