An acquaintance named Greta exemplifies came to the United States from Ireland with only a limited grade-school education and no skills and thus sought work as a maid. She found a job as an upstairs maid on the large estate of a very wealthy and socially prominent family. Her cheerful willingness and dedication to the family’s welfare resulted in her progressive promotion to housekeeper. She tended to all the needs of the family, traveling around the world with them in luxurious style. Continue reading
The hunger to be understood.
Few needs of the human heart are greater than the need to be understood—to have a voice that is heard, respected, and valued—to have influence. Most believe that the key to influence is communication—getting your point across clearly and speaking persuasively. In fact, if you think about it, don’t you find that, while others are speaking to you, instead of really listening to understand, you are often busy preparing your response? The real beginning of influence comes as others sense you are being influenced by them—when they feel understood by you—that you have listened deeply and sincerely, and that you are open. But most people are too vulnerable emotionally to listen deeply—to suspend their agenda long enough to focus on understanding before they communicate their own ideas. Our culture cries out for, even demands, understanding and influence. However, the principle of influence is governed by mutual understanding born of the commitment of at least one person to deep listening first.
– The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change (25th Anniversary Edition)
Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivating loving speech and compassionate listening in order to relieve suffering and to promote reconciliation and peace in myself and among other people, ethnic and religious groups, and nations. Continue reading
When you grow up you tend to get told the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world. Try not to bash into the walls too much. Try to have a nice family life, have fun, save a little money. Continue reading
Put yourself in their shoes. How you see the world depends on where you sit. People tend to see what they want to see. Out of a mass of detailed information, they tend to pick out and focus on those facts that confirm their prior perceptions and to disregard or misinterpret those that call their perceptions into question. Each side in a negotiation may see only the merits of its case, and only the faults of the other side’s. Continue reading
“Unless you are influenced by my uniqueness, I am not going to be influenced by your advice. Continue reading
In the last analysis, what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do. Continue reading