“If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation.”
Whether we are dealing with a student who is maladjusted, or a marriage which is skidding toward failure, or a war neurosis, the essentials of a therapeutic experience seem to be the same. First comes the experience of release – the pouring out of feelings, the loosening of repressions, the unburdening of guilt, the lessening of tension. There follows, if progress is to be made, the understanding of self, the acceptance of one’s impulses, the perception of relationships, which we classify under the term insight. Then, out of this more accurate view of the inner life, out of this new understanding of the web of personal adjustments, come new plans, new choices, new and more satisfying ways of meeting the realities with which the individual is faced. While each of these three steps is essential, and no one can take place without the other, the middle step, the achievement of insight, is a crucial one and deserves much more attention than it has had in the past.
– Carl Rogers