So why do we spend so much of our limited time on this earth focusing on all the things our eulogy will never cover?

Have you noticed that when we die, our eulogies celebrate our lives very differently from the way society defines success?

It’s easy, in effect, to miss the real point of our lives even as we’re living them. Until we’re no longer alive. A eulogy is often the first formal marking down of what our lives were about—the foundational document of our legacy.

Our eulogies are always about the other stuff: what we gave, how we connected, how much we meant to our family and friends, small kindnesses, lifelong passions, and the things that made us laugh.

Living the best version of our Eulogy

So why do we spend so much of our limited time on this earth focusing on all the things our eulogy will never cover?

“Eulogies aren’t résumés, they describe the person’s care, wisdom, truthfulness and courage. They describe the million little moral judgments that emanate from that inner region.”

– David Brooks

Even for those who die with amazing Wikipedia entries, whose lives were synonymous with accomplishment and achievement, their eulogies focus mostly on what they did when they weren’t achieving and succeeding. They aren’t bound by our current, broken definition of success….

Whether you believe in an afterlife—as I do—or not, by being fully present in your life and in the lives of those you love, you’re not just writing your own eulogy; you’re creating a very real version of your afterlife. It’s an invaluable lesson—one that has much more credence while we have the good fortune of being healthy and having the energy and freedom to create a life of purpose and meaning. The good news is that each and every one of us still has time to live up to the best version of our eulogy.

Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder – Arianna Huffington

Finding a Purpose in Life (an ikigai)

What is Ikigai?

Ikigai (pronounced “eye-ka-guy”) is, above all else, a lifestyle that strives to balance the spiritual with the practical.

This balance is found at the intersection where your passions and talents converge with the things that the world needs and is willing to pay for.

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Detach yourself from the Stressor

Make sure you have periods of downtime and alone time. Become centered. Practice meditation, the most desirable tactic, or at the very least find time throughout the day to shut your eyes in a quiet place and take some deep breaths until you feel relaxed and centered. The best breathing technique, which we mentioned in connection with the workplace (this page), is to breathe in to a count of 4, then breathe out to a count of 6.

Remain active. Getting up and moving around throughout the day stimulates the vagus nerve, one of the principal pathways of the autonomic nervous system. Yoga is even more stimulating and is the best activity for switching from sympathetic overdrive to heightened parasympathetic activity.

Seek positive outlets. In this case, the word positive means anything that makes you happy. Making time to be happy is a whole-system strategy, but that’s dry and abstract. Happiness is the philosopher’s stone for turning a stressful situation into a healing one. In psychological terms, this is why the best way to build a happy life is to build happy days.

Rely on emotional support. Modern society is more and more isolating, which was true even before the Internet and video games greatly accelerated the problem. There is no substitute for emotional bonding, and one thing almost always found in happiness studies is that the happiest people spend an hour or even more per day being in contact, either personally or on the phone, with friends and family who mean the most to them.

Escape if you must. This is generally the hardest choice for most people, who will endure stressful situations long after it is evident that escaping and walking away is the right choice. Aggravated situations like domestic abuse are actually acute stressors. Significant life changes like divorce or switching careers must take many factors into account. However, on an everyday basis you should give yourself the freedom to walk away from heated arguments, malicious gossip, rude e-mails, perpetual complainers, worrywarts, and anyone who is openly criticizing you.

The Healing Self: A Revolutionary New Plan to Supercharge Your Immunity and Stay Well for Life by Deepak Chopra

Einstein’s 10 rules ….

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1. Follow Your Curiosity “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”

2. Perseverance is Priceless “It’s not that I’m so smart; it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”

3. Focus on the Present “Any person who can drive safely while kissing the one they love is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” Continue reading