Your success as a 3rd Alternative thinker will come from the inside out….

Image result for stephen covey 3rd alternativeYour success as a 3rd Alternative thinker will come from the inside out.

I recommend twenty things that I’ve found to be very helpful in developing the inner strength and security to create 3rd Alternative solutions:

1. Beware of pride. Let go of needing always to be “right.” Your grasp on reality is always partial anyway. Allow yourself to achieve the important breakthroughs in relationships and creative solutions that will never likely be realized if you stubbornly hold on to being “right.”

2. Learn to say “I’m sorry.” Do it quickly once you realize you’ve fallen short or hurt someone. Be sincere and don’t hold back. And don’t go just half way. Apologize fully, take responsibility, and express your desire to understand.

3. Be quick to forgive perceived slights. Remember, you choose whether or not to be offended. If you feel offended, let it go.

4. Make and keep very small promises to yourself and others. Take baby steps. As you create a pattern of doing so, make and keep bigger promises. Your own integrity will become your greatest source of security and strength.

5. Spend time in nature. Go on long walks. Create space in your life every day for reflection on the synergies of the world around you.

6. Read widely—it’s one of the best ways to make mental connections and get insights that can lead to 3rd Alternatives.

7. Exercise often, each day if possible; and eat healthy food, with balance and moderation. The body is the instrument of the mind and spirit.

8. Get enough sleep, at least 7 to 8 hours daily. Science tells us that the brain grows new connections during sleep, which is why we often awake with sparkling new ideas. And you’ll find yourself so much more able to give the emotional, mental, and spiritual energy needed to create 3rd Alternatives.

9. Study inspiring or sacred literature. Ponder, meditate, or pray. Insights will come.

10. Make quiet time for yourself to think through creative 3rd Alternative solutions to your challenges.

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The Real Identity Theft

The philosopher Owen Flanagan puts it this way: “We are born into families and communities with an image of persons already in place. We have no say about the location in space of images into which we are born. The image antedates us, often by centuries. . . . Once we reach an age where we do have some control, we work from the image, from the story that is already deeply absorbed, a story line that is already part of our self-image.” We can become stout defenders of that self-image even as it becomes less and less about ourselves and more and more about an externally imposed image…..Image result for the real identity theft Continue reading

But what about Listening?

Image result for buddha doodles listen!“Communication is the most important skill in life. You spend years learning how to read and write, and years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training have you had that enables you to listen so you really, deeply understand another human being? Probably none, right? Continue reading

Magnanimity is not a common term….

Magnanimity is not a common term. Many people do not recognize it when they hear it. But they know it immediately when it is explained, and most know it as one of the areas they can personally improve upon. For too many of us are quick to seek revenge, swift to criticize, fast to find fault, and speedy to get even. Yes, too many of us are slow to hold our tongues, slow to forgive, and even slower to forget. One of the leading reasons for a lack of magnanimity is what I call a scarcity mentality.Image result for abundance Continue reading

Interdependence is ten times more difficult than independence

 It demands so much more mental and emotional independence to think win/win when another person is into win/lose, to seek to understand first when everything inside you cries out for understanding, and to search for a better third alternative when compromise is so much easier. Continue reading