When you have a problem, what happens? You think it out, you wallow in it, you fuss over it, you get wildly excited about it; and the more you analyze it, dig into it, polish it, worry about it, the less you understand it. But the moment you put it away from you, you understand it—the whole thing is suddenly very clear. Continue reading
Psychology
we come factory equipped for cooperation, compassion, and generosity..
There are four independent brain circuits that influence our lasting well-being, Davidson explained.
The first is “our ability to maintain positive states.” It makes sense that the ability to maintain positive states or positive emotions would directly impact one’s ability to experience happiness. These two great spiritual leaders were saying that the fastest way to this state is to start with love and compassion. Continue reading
Bringing Peace and Harmony
What has caused the present conditions, not alone at home but abroad? It is that realization that was asked some thousands of years ago, “Where is thy brother? His blood cries to me from the ground!” and the other portion of the world has answered, is answering, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” The world, as a world—that makes for the disruption, for the discontent—has lost its ideal. Continue reading
Controlling others
The 4 Control Dramas
Almost all humans, because of their upbringing, manipulate for energy either aggressively (directly forcing people to pay attention to them), or passively (playing on people’s sympathy or curiosity to gain attention). Continue reading
Accept Yourself
12 Ways to Accept Yourself
For many people self-acceptance is hard to come by on a good day. It’s tenuous, a glass with tiny cracks, at best. On a bad day, when you’ve made a mistake or two, don’t like how you look or feel absolutely miserable, your self-acceptance is in shards.
Fortunately, self-acceptance is something we can nurture. Look at it as a skill that you can practice versus an innate trait that you either have or don’t.
Below, clinicians reveal 12 ways we can cultivate self-acceptance.
1. Set an intention.
“Self-acceptance begins with intention,” according to psychotherapist Jeffrey Sumber, MA. “It is vital that we set an intention for ourselves that we are willing to shift paradigms from a world of blame, doubt and shame to a world of allowance, tolerance, acceptance and trust,” he said. This intention acknowledges that self-loathing simply doesn’t lead to a satisfying life. “If I set my intention that a life with self-acceptance is far better than a life of self-hatred then I begin a chain reaction within my being geared to a life of peace,” Sumber said.
2. Celebrate your strengths.
“We are much better collectors of our shortcomings than our strengths,” according to Ryan Howes, Ph.D, a psychologist in Pasadena, California. Psychologist John Duffy, PsyD, agrees. “[Many people] fail to see their strengths and cling to antique scripts they carry about their lack of worth,” he said.
Duffy helps his clients hone in on their strengths and abilities by writing them down. If you’re having a tough time coming up with your list, name one strength each day, he said. Start with something basic like “I’m a kind person,” said Duffy, also author of The Available Parent. “Typically, lists evolve as the script loses its strength, and people recognize they are intelligent, and creative, and powerful, and articulate, and so on. Sometimes, we can’t see ourselves until we clear the weeds,” he said.
Howes suggested making a similar list: “Make a list of all the hardships you’ve overcome, all the goals you’ve accomplished, all the connections you’ve made, and all the lives you’ve touched for the better. Keep it close by, review it frequently, and add to it often.”
http://psychcentral.com/lib/therapists-spill-12-ways-to-accept-yourself/#.WD9pywp33oY.mailto
What is the Value of Life?
A man went to God and asked, “What’s the value of life?”
God gave him one stone and said, “Find out the value of this stone, but don’t sell it.”
The man took the stone to an Orange Seller and asked him what it’s cost would be.
The Orange Seller saw the shiny stone and said, “You can take 12 oranges and give me the stone.”The man apologized and said that the God has asked him not to sell it.
He went ahead and found a vegetable seller. “What could be the value of this stone?” he asked the vegetable seller. The seller saw the shiny stone and said, “Take one sack of potatoes and give me the stone.”The man again apologized and said he can’t sell it. Continue reading
If other people do not understand our behavior—so what?
“If other people do not understand our behavior—so what? Their request that we must only do what they understand is an attempt to dictate to us. If this is being “asocial” or “irrational” in their eyes, so be it. Mostly they resent our freedom and our courage to be ourselves. We owe nobody an explanation or an accounting, as long as our acts do not hurt or infringe on them. Continue reading
What is it time to let go of ?
Whatever its details, an outer loss is best understood as a surrogate for some inner relinquishment that must be made, but one that is difficult to describe. What it is time to let go of is not so much the relationship or the job itself, but rather the hopes, fears, dreams and beliefs that we have attached to them. Continue reading
Pointlessness of Regret
Once, on a mindfulness retreat, I remember our instructor asked us to do one of those odd exercises that are a specialty of meditation teachers. He got us to stand in a circle, then he asked us all to take a step forward. After a few seconds of silence he said, “Now try not to have taken that step.” I had never heard—or more importantly experienced—anything that struck me more powerfully with the pointlessness of certain regrets. Continue reading
“To be free of all authority, of your own and that of another, is to die to everything of yesterday
Having realized that we can depend on no outside authority in bringing about a total revolution within the structure of our own psyche, there is the immensely greater difficulty of rejecting our own inward authority, the authority of our own particular little experiences and accumulated opinions, knowledge, ideas and ideals. Continue reading
ONE TUSK 