| Debate | Dialogue |
| Assuming that there is a right answer, and you have it | Assuming that many people have pieces of the answer |
| Combative: participants attempt to prove the other side is wrong | Collaborative: participants work together towards common understanding |
| About winning | About exploring common ground |
| Listening to find flaws and make counter arguments | Listening to understand, find meaning and agreement |
| Defending our own assumptions as truth | Revealing our assumptions for reevaluation |
| Seeing two sides of an issue | Seeing all sides of an issue |
| Defending one’s own view against those of others | Admitting others thinking can improve on one’s own |
| Searching for flaws and weaknesses in others’ positions | Searching for strength and values in others’ positions |
| By creating a winner and a loser, discouraging further discussion | Keeping the topic open even after the discussion formally ends |
| Seeking a conclusion or vote that ratifies your position | Discovering new options, not seeking closure |
– Mark Gerzon from ‘ Leading through Conflict’
ONE TUSK 