Book Recommendation – The Grace in Aging by Kathleen Dowling Singh

(Recommended by Sathyam)
 This can be that spark you have been waiting for!!

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Detach yourself from the Stressor

Make sure you have periods of downtime and alone time. Become centered. Practice meditation, the most desirable tactic, or at the very least find time throughout the day to shut your eyes in a quiet place and take some deep breaths until you feel relaxed and centered. The best breathing technique, which we mentioned in connection with the workplace (this page), is to breathe in to a count of 4, then breathe out to a count of 6.

Remain active. Getting up and moving around throughout the day stimulates the vagus nerve, one of the principal pathways of the autonomic nervous system. Yoga is even more stimulating and is the best activity for switching from sympathetic overdrive to heightened parasympathetic activity.

Seek positive outlets. In this case, the word positive means anything that makes you happy. Making time to be happy is a whole-system strategy, but that’s dry and abstract. Happiness is the philosopher’s stone for turning a stressful situation into a healing one. In psychological terms, this is why the best way to build a happy life is to build happy days.

Rely on emotional support. Modern society is more and more isolating, which was true even before the Internet and video games greatly accelerated the problem. There is no substitute for emotional bonding, and one thing almost always found in happiness studies is that the happiest people spend an hour or even more per day being in contact, either personally or on the phone, with friends and family who mean the most to them.

Escape if you must. This is generally the hardest choice for most people, who will endure stressful situations long after it is evident that escaping and walking away is the right choice. Aggravated situations like domestic abuse are actually acute stressors. Significant life changes like divorce or switching careers must take many factors into account. However, on an everyday basis you should give yourself the freedom to walk away from heated arguments, malicious gossip, rude e-mails, perpetual complainers, worrywarts, and anyone who is openly criticizing you.

The Healing Self: A Revolutionary New Plan to Supercharge Your Immunity and Stay Well for Life by Deepak Chopra

“I won’t do something” is quite a different feeling than to think that “I’m a victim and I can’t.”

It must be remembered that we are free to acknowledge and surrender our feelings, and we are free not to surrender. As we examine our “I can’ts” and find out that they are really “I won’ts,” it doesn’t mean that we have to let go of the negative feelings that result in the “I won’ts.”

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Yes, I am changing

A  friend of mine crossed 45 years of age. I asked him what’s changing?  He sent me the following lines.

Yes, I am changing — After loving my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children, my friends, now I have started loving myself.

Yes, I am changing —  I just realised that I am not “Atlas”. The world does not rest on my shoulders.

Yes, I am changing  —  I  now stopped bargaining with vegetables and fruits vendors.  After all, a few rupees more is not going to burn a hole in my pocket but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.

Yes, I am changing  —  I pay the taxi driver without waiting for the change. The extra money might bring a smile on his face. After all he is toiling much harder for a living than me. Continue reading

coping mechanisms

A range of coping mechanisms anyone can call upon – 

• Get enough rest and sleep.
• Make time for yourself every day to be alone and quiet.
• Make sure you get outside to refresh your connection to nature.
• Maintain an active life—don’t be chained to the situation.
Share duties and responsibilities. Ask for help before you feel overwhelmed.
• Pursue a regular routine—this helps offset unpredictable events.
• Find an activity that makes you feel in control.
Find a confidant with whom you can share your feelings without judgment.Don’t martyr yourself by taking on more than you can handle.
• Fight the urge to feel victimized.
Don’t isolate yourself—keep up your social activity.
• Seek out people in the same situation who can empathize with you and offer positive support.
Resist self-judgment. Be easy on yourself, accepting the ups and downs of emotions as natural.
Where there is the possibility of finding joy, pause to appreciate it.

The Healing Self: A Revolutionary New Plan to Supercharge Your Immunity and Stay Well for Life
Deepak Chopra and Rudolph E. Tanzi

Embrace Uncertainty

Accept that you are confused. Accept the uncertainty, embrace the mystery, and love the part of you that doesn’t understand.

If we come to a place where we find peace in not knowing why something has happened, yet we know that it inevitably is making us stronger, happier, clearer or raising us to new levels of understanding, we are able to navigate through situations with a much happier outlook.

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life situations can serve as signals to alert us to an imminent transition…..

Each of us lives in a world, and that world is meant to dry up in its time like a withering flower to make way for the growth that follows it. Lacking an understanding of the process, we are depressed and discouraged when it happens. We say that things aren’t going well for us. We look for ways to solve our problems, fix things, and get our lives back on track again. Of course, “back on track” means “back on the track they were on before we encountered this difficulty.” And that means “back into the life that it was actually time to let go of.”

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