“Deep listening, compassionate listening is not listening with the purpose of analyzing or even uncovering what has happened in the past. You listen first of all in order to give the other person relief, a chance to speak out, to feel that someone finally understands him or her. Deep listening is the kind of listening that helps us to keep compassion alive while the other speaks, which may be for half an hour or forty-five minutes. Continue reading
No matter how old we get, no matter how mature we grow, no matter how rigid and stuck in our ways we become, we will always just be a little kid from somewhere. In the grand scheme of things, we live relatively short lives. Really, we’re not that far removed from that little kid we once were. The mask is that we’ve “grown up.Continue reading
“Somewhere in our brains we carry a map of our relationships. It is our mother’s lap, our best friend’s holding hand, our lover’s embrace—all these we carry within ourselves when we are alone. Just knowing that these are there to hold us if we fall gives us a sense of peace.”
– Barbara Fredrickson, Psychologist
Please don’t be fooled by me. Don’t be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks, masks that I’m afraid to take off and none of them are me. Pretending is an art that is second nature to me, but don’t be fooled, for God’s sake don’t be fooled.
I give you the impression I’m secure and that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name, coolness my game, that water is calm and I’m in command and that I need no one, but don’t believe me, please don’t believe me.
My surface may be smooth, but my surface is a mask–my every varying and ever concealing mask. Beneath it dwells the real confusion, fear and aloneness. Beneath lies my smugness, my complacency but I hide this–I don’t want anyone to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed. That’s why I frantically created a mask to hide behind– nonchalant sophisticated facades to help me pretend– to shield me from the glance that knows– but such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only salvation and I know it. That is if it’s followed by acceptance. If it’s followed by love, it’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self built prison walls and from the barriers that I so painstakingly erect. It’s the only thing that will assure me of what I cannot assure myself, that I’m really worth while, but I don’t tell you this, I don’t dare–I’m afraid to.
I’m afraid that your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love. I’m afraid you’ll think less of me and you’ll laugh and your laugh will kill me. I’m afraid that deep down, I’m nothing and that I’m just no good and that you’ll see this and reject me. Continue reading
A servant leader has the ability to recognize and understand feelings and emotions that are experienced by their team. Such a leader will care for other people and will deeply experience emotions that match what others are feeling. Since they understand others so deeply, their actions are motivated by a genuine desire to help others.
By paying complete attention to what others are saying, servant leaders are able to get a complete understanding of all interpersonal situations that they are dealing with. They use active listening to resolve conflicts, counsel others, and also to impart training.
Many people in positions of power are blissfully ignorant of their shortcomings, but not the servant leader. They are completely aware of their strengths, weaknesses, values, emotions, and feelings. This self-awareness allows the servant leader to understand personal biases and set them aside while making decisions.
Followers typically desire for a leader who has a sincere interest in fostering their emotional and spiritual well-being. By taking an active role in promoting the mental and emotional strength of their employees, servant leaders typically inspire an exceptional level of trust and faith from others. Continue reading
“Your body hears everything your mind says.” ~ Naomi Judd
( Watch this video till the end to get real value )