“When you are truly genuine, there will invariably be people who do not accept you. And in that case, you must be your own badass self, without apology.” ~ Katie Goodman
What does it mean to be unfuckwithable? It means being, becoming, and overcoming the pinnacle of yourself, in the moment, despite self-doubt or the doubt of others.
It means full engagement with being, becoming, and overcoming the best possible version of yourself. It’s walking into a room, fiercely radiating, doing as Rumi advised, “Wherever you stand, be the soul of that place.” Because you simply cannot be fucked with when you’re the soul of a place.
Being unfuckwithable is the absolute realization that expectation and attachment are poison, because it is precisely expectation and attachment that makes one fuckwithable. In order to be unfuckwithable, expectation and attachment must be let go of.
Being unfuckiwthable is having confident vulnerability in the face of a world playing at being invulnerable. It’s absolute uncertainty and unconditional love in the face of rigid certainty and conditional love. It’s the utter subsuming of finite gameplay through infinite gameplay……..
You must learn to choose actions to fulfil your obligations and not merely to gain immediate success or failure. Your business is with your duty only, never with the reward or merit accruing from it. Let not the fruit of action entangle you in your actions.
I recommend twenty things that I’ve found to be very helpful in developing the inner strength and security to create 3rd Alternative solutions:
1. Beware of pride. Let go of needing always to be “right.” Your grasp on reality is always partial anyway. Allow yourself to achieve the important breakthroughs in relationships and creative solutions that will never likely be realized if you stubbornly hold on to being “right.”
2. Learn to say “I’m sorry.” Do it quickly once you realize you’ve fallen short or hurt someone. Be sincere and don’t hold back. And don’t go just half way. Apologize fully, take responsibility, and express your desire to understand.
3. Be quick to forgive perceived slights. Remember, you choose whether or not to be offended. If you feel offended, let it go.
4. Make and keep very small promises to yourself and others. Take baby steps. As you create a pattern of doing so, make and keep bigger promises. Your own integrity will become your greatest source of security and strength.
5. Spend time in nature. Go on long walks. Create space in your life every day for reflection on the synergies of the world around you.
6. Read widely—it’s one of the best ways to make mental connections and get insights that can lead to 3rd Alternatives.
7. Exercise often, each day if possible; and eat healthy food, with balance and moderation. The body is the instrument of the mind and spirit.
8. Get enough sleep, at least 7 to 8 hours daily. Science tells us that the brain grows new connections during sleep, which is why we often awake with sparkling new ideas. And you’ll find yourself so much more able to give the emotional, mental, and spiritual energy needed to create 3rd Alternatives.
9. Study inspiring or sacred literature. Ponder, meditate, or pray. Insights will come.
10. Make quiet time for yourself to think through creative 3rd Alternative solutions to your challenges.
I am an invitation for all those who are seeking, searching, and have a deep longing in their hearts to find their home. I am an answer to the question that everybody is, but cannot formulate — a question that is more a quest than a question, more a thirst than a verbal, mental inquiry; a thirst that one feels in every cell and fiber of his being, but has no way to bring to words and ask.
I am an answer for that question which you cannot ask and you cannot expect that it could be answered. When I say I am the answer, I don’t mean that I can give you the answer… yes, if you are ready, you can take it. I am just like a well, ready for you to throw your bucket and draw the water for yourself. I have it but I cannot reach to you without your efforts. Only you can reach to me. It is a strange invitation.
It will take you on a long pilgrimage and it will end only where you already are. You will have to move many steps and on many paths just to come to yourself, because you have gone far away from yourself. You have completely forgotten the way back. I am a reminder, a remembrance, of the lost home.
As a person I do not exist. As a person I only appear. I exist as a presence. Since the day I came to know myself, the person disappeared. There is only a presence, a very living presence that can quench your thirst, that can fulfill your longing. Hence, in one word I can say I am an invitation, of course just for those who have a deep longing in their hearts that they are missing themselves — a deep urge, that unless they find themselves, everything else is meaningless.
Unless it is your a priori concern, your ultimate concern, such that if it is needed you are even ready to lose everything for it, but you cannot drop it…. There are thousands of desires, but as far as longing is concerned there is only one: to come back home, to find your reality. And in that very finding, you have found all that is of any value — blissfulness, truth, ecstasy.
OSHO – The Invitation