Author: onetusk

The biggest barrier to positive change is identity conflict.

/ onetusk / 1 Comment
The more deeply a thought or action is tied to your identity, the more difficult it is to change it…… The biggest barrier to positive change at any level—individual, team, society—is identity conflict. Good habits can make rational sense, but if they conflict with your identity, you will fail to put them into action….

Over the long run, however, the real reason you fail to stick with habits is that your self-image gets in the way. This is why you can’t get too attached to one version of your identity. Progress requires unlearning. Becoming the best version of yourself requires you to continuously edit your beliefs, and to upgrade and expand your identity.

–James Clear from Atomic Habits

If you can understand that everyone has come to learn….

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You’re actually above the other only in your own idealization of your own behavior. You are not above them, they are not below you. They are having a different encounter with themselves, and perhaps learning through it, and perhaps giving you the opportunity to learn as well. If you assume that someone is not where they are supposed to be, you have decided for them based upon what you think they should be, or perhaps where or how they should behave based upon your idealisation of behaviour…..

This does not make them wrong. Do you understand this? It doesn’t make you wrong, either, but it certainly doesn’t make you right……

If you can understand that everyone has come to learn—how they learn their lessons is in some ways decided by them at a higher level—you learn not to judge.

You don’t have to enable, you don’t have to agree….

Do you understand this, yes?

– Paul Selig