In order to get off the emotional roller coaster, you will have to give up the fantasy that you can or should change somebody else. When you let go of this belief, you will be able to claim the power that is truly yours : the power to change your self.

Consider a lighthouse. It stands on the shore with its beckoning light, guiding ship safely into the harbour. The lighthouse can’t uproot itself, wade out into the water, grab the ship by the stern, and say, ‘listen you fool! If you stay on this path, you may break up on the rocks!’ No, the ship has some responsibility for its own destiny. It can choose to be guided by the lighthouse. Or it can go its own way. The light house is not responsible for the ship’s decisions. All it can do is to be the best lighthouse it knows to be.

– Randi Kreger and Paul Mason from ‘Stop Walking on Eggshells’